Great article by Rekha Shrivastava, M.S., CH, CRC, CASAC at http://tinyurl.com/l7e4ely This article has some good information.
I know that for men who grew up in the Western social/cultural norm where expressed anger is seen as “manly” or “strong” or “powerful”. the new social values may be difficult. Strongly expressed anger or some might even call it “verbal violence” is unacceptable in most social settings. It appears only to be acceptable by a Staff Sargent in basic training and that may not even be true today.
Our world is so much smaller now and we as human beings are more than our family or even nationality of origin’s expressed norms. So anger expressed in an emotional way simply does no good even though it may be cathartic for the individual speaking. I have recently become aware that I sometimes have been perceived in that way and never really knew it. So…. learning to express anger in an acceptable way is critical for me and for others (males and females) in our society.
So for all the times I have lost my temper in a meeting or social setting or other public place I ask for forgiveness from friends, professional colleagues, clients, parishioners and any others who I may have hurt by this expressed anger. My intention was never to harm anyone. I know the way to Hell is paved with good intentions. So I guess as my Mother would say, ” Steve there is no excuse, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it. She was proper Bostonian and I miss her dearly.